May 2025: Matrimony, Selling Tickets, and Sleeping in Airports
The Big Three, if you ask me.
Hello loyal readers,
Let me be the first to say, Happy Memorial Day. Sorry this post is so late - I had meant to send it two weeks ago but I was never able to get my girlfriend to proofread it so it never left the drafts folder. Forgive any and all typos.
Anyways, May is one of my favorite months of the year. Warm weather is upon us, the baseball season is in full swing, and my lovely girlfriend celebrates her birthday, making her technically only one year younger than me.
So before I get into it, let’s take a look at this month in photos.
(Me, delicately making a milkshake after getting home from my brother’s wedding)
(First Mets game of the year, baby)
(A photo my aunt gifted me of my uncle)
(My rental car that I drove from Pittsburgh to Erie)
(A ship)
(A portion of a kind email I got from an 83 attendee at my Erie show)
What I Listened To This Month
Here Comes The Rain Again - Annie Lennox - Last summer I took a cruise with my family. One evening, the entertainment was a dance troupe. They did a synchronized number set to this song, which reignited my love. I remember at the time thinking it was a little sad that these people who dreamed of dancing at Lincoln Center were doing a silly number on a podunk ship, but as I’ve begun touring the country, I realized that if you’re even remotely able to make your living from your art, that alone is a triumph.
I’m On Fire - Bruce Springsteen - I didn’t really “get” Bruce Springsteen until like 8 years ago. Slowly I added his hits to my repertoire. First, the big hits, “Thunder Road”, “Because The Night”, etc. Eventually we got to “I’m On Fire”. And man, what a song. It played at my brother’s wedding. I didn’t realize he and his wife enjoy Bruce Springsteen as much as they do. I gotta see him before live before he dies.
Through The Fire and Flames - Dragonforce - If you’re my age, you really only know this a meme song from Guitar Hero. And if you’re not around my age, you don’t know this song at all. Anyways, this is the song I listen to at the gym when I attempt to beat a weightlifting goal.
Dead Girl Walking - Heathers: The Musical - I’ve never seen this musical and I don’t care for this movie, but this song is pretty solid. Plus I have a crush on the girl who sings it.
Comedy Updates/Upcoming Shows
I performed on 4 shows in May of 2025. I was on stage for a total of 75 minutes, and made $550.
This was a slow month for the ol’ JVHmeister. typically I like to be doing between 15-20 shows in a month, but sometimes the Booking Gods don’t look down kindly on you. You can only do what’s in your own control.
I headlined Flagship Comedy in Erie, Pennsylvania! The show was fantastic - enthusiastic crowd, lovely venue. My only regret is that I wasn’t in Erie longer.
To make the show financial viable, I flew Spirit Airlines to Pittsburgh ($60), then rented a car and drove to Erie ($90), and then drove back to the airport after the show and slept in the terminal before getting on another Spirit Airlines flight and flying back to EWR ($60). This was a somewhat miserable experience but I didn’t want to have to pay for a hotel if I was just going to be on a 6am flight back home anyway.
What’s it like to sleep overnight at the airport? It kind of sucks. I laid my backpack on the ground against the wall at an empty gate and just sort of laid there for three hours. I slept for maybe 90 minutes of it, and the rest of the time I was in some sort of not-quite-sleeping, not-quite-awake trance that only the tranquility of the dead of night can bring. Some guy sat right next to me at one point eating an extremely greasy hamburger and playing TikToks loudly on his phone.
I got some fun headlining shows coming up out of town. On Thursday, June 12th I’ll be headlining Portland Comedy Co-Op in Portland, Maine. Then on Saturday, June 14th I’ll be headlining Comedy in the Lounge at The Music Hall in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Tickets for that one are moving very nicely, with a legitimate chance at selling out.
I submitted to be considered for Nateland Presents Showcase, which is essentially Nate Bargatze’s New Faces. I do not think I’ll be selected, but I’m happy that I’m being considered.
I think I’ll be doing my first headlining show in Brooklyn very soon. I’m still negotiating with the venue, but once that’s locked in, it’s gonna be all systems go to make it a banger. You’ll probably get an annoying email from me imploring you to attend, but it’s the last time that will ever happen.
Basically, I need some new, high quality clips for both social media purposes, as well as for digital ads.
I have headlining dates in the following cities:
6/12 Portland, ME (cash only)
8/9 Pottstown, PA
9/19 Boston (link to come)
9/20 Boonton, NJ (link to come)
10/10-10/11 Boulder, CO (link to come)
Brooklyn TBA
Seattle TBA
Extra Comedy Thoughts
So, one of my goals for 2025 was to become a headlining comedian, AKA getting booked to do 30-60 minute sets in cities all across the country. To my delight, I have achieved that goal.
Now I’m onto a new goal: getting people to buy tickets to these dang shows.
From a ticket selling perspective, 2025 has had successes and failures. When I headlined Bethlehem, PA in February, I sold 100 out of 100 tickets. In Philadelphia, I sold 35 out of 100 tickets. In Erie, I sold 20ish out of 60 (to which the producer blamed the show going head-to-head against Whose Line Is It Anyway? Live).
Some upcoming tour dates look very good. In Portsmith, NH, my show has already sold 85/100 tickets, and is on track to sell out. In Bennington, VT, 24/100 tickets have sold, with nearly six weeks remaining. Both of these shows are forecasting very well.
Why am I telling you all of this?
Being booked as a headlining comedian is great, but you’ll only be able to sustain it if you’re able to sell tickets. Most of the headlining dates I’ve been able to book have come from me sending receipts of selling 100+ tickets in Brooklyn and Bethlehem, PA. The more receipts I have of me selling 100+ tickets, the more venues I can book. I was able to sell 100 tickets in Bethlehem because my brother lives there, and he and his friends accounted for about 20 people in audience. But how does one sell 100 tickets in a city they don’t live in and where they have no connections?
Here’s my strategy.
1. Astroturf Subreddits/Facebook groups
This is very much against the Spirit of the Internet, but it’s also potentially effective? I recently posted in the Portsmouth, NH subreddit asking for recommendations about where to get a good lobster roll. But here’s the thing… I didn’t care where to get a good lobster roll. I can just Google that. I know this isn’t exactly noble, but it has reliably moved a few tickets in each city, and I will take what I can get.
2. Personalized videos
For some cities I make a personal video for the venue to post to their Instagram about the town I’ll be performing in and why I’m excited to go there. This is kind of a tried and true method - I’m not sure how effective it is, but it’s one of the best chances you’ll have to endear yourself to potential audience members. Plus, I enjoy making these.
3. Emailing local publications
In Brooklyn/Manhattan, the success of your show can live or die by the number/quality of listings it gets in online publications. Out of town? I’m not quite sure the impact. But I got listed in a few places ahead of headlining in Bethlehem and Philadelphia, and I think it helped.
4. Meta ads
I’m nearly certain this is a huge scam. Or at least, I have not seen the benefits of running these. Supposedly people are clicking on the ads, but these clicks are not translating to ticket sales. I guess that would mean they are not working. But Meta really has us over a barrel - we have no choice but to believe the data they report back to us as fact.
5. Prayer
Sometimes you just have to do a little magical thinking about hope everything works out for the best (note: I would not employee that as your main strategy).
That’s it for now
I will be back next month with more career updates/pop culture recommendations and all of that good stuff, and hopefully with another longer piece about some comedy minutiae as well. Thank you so much for reading, and Let’s Go Mets.
Love,
JVH