5 Things I Can't Stop Thinking About

Netflix's Funny AF, the Diet Soda Revolution, and Widespread Enshittification

Hello! I am trying something new this week.

Here are five things/topics I just can’t stop thinking about.

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5. The Trailer for Toy Story 5

On Sunday I went to see The Devil Wears Prada 2. It was fine. Before the movie, a trailer played for Toy Story 5. Here’s the film’s log line:

Woody, Buzz, and the gang face their toughest challenge yet—electronics—when they try to keep their place in a world dominated by tablets and screen time.

Basically, the bad guy in this movie is a child’s iPad. To which I say… how dare you. How dare Disney make so much money getting kids hooked on these screens, and then positing, “What if screens… are bad?” It’s just so… brazen. Where’s the personal accountability? Let me be clear, I don’t expect them to take accountability, but for them to pawn this off as a poignant observation is very I Think You Should Leave “We’re All Trying To Find The Guy Who Did This.”

4. Funny AF on Netflix

Funny AF is a stand-up comedy competition show. 30 comedians compete for a chance to win a Netflix stand-up special, which for a comedian in 2026 is as good as gold. The winner was a guy named Ron Taylor. I was not familiar with him before the show, but he has all of the regular credentials (Don’t Tell set, etc.) of a working comedian.

Two of the finalists, Caitlin Peluffo and Usama Siddiquee, are New York comics who I’ve seen live dozens of times. I like them. I think they’re both good at what they do. Caitlin in particular is one of my favorite stand-up comedians. The way she commands the room from start to finish is so impressive. Even my fiancée likes her. Despite not winning, the show has clearly raised Caitlin’s profile to the point where I’m certain she’ll get an hour-long special from Hulu, HBO, Netflix, etc. in very short order.

The reason I can’t stop thinking about it is… how the hell did it take the Powers That Be this long to catch wise that Caitlin Peluffo is an amazing comedian? Anyone with their ear to the ground in the New York comedy scene has known for years that she’s an absolute killer. Why’d it take a comedy competition show to get her the recognition she deserves?

I’d chalk it up to no big streamer wanting to take a chance on “unknown” talent, and instead give a special to Ken Jeong or Robert Irwin or whoever the Hell gets stand-up specials these days.

Ultimately, I appreciate that Kevin Hart cares enough about stand-up to make this show. And that it actually succeeded at highlighting stand-ups who deserved to be highlighted. It gives me hope.

3. Everything Is Getting Worse And There’s No Plan To Fix It

Since the pandemic, everything has gotten worse - we all know this. A crappy sandwich is now $15. Netflix cost $30 a month and the movies are worse than ever. I’m making less money than I’ve ever made in my life. My attention span is shot. Our President has (illegally?) profited $4 billion since taking office. Things aren’t looking good.

When I was a senior in high school, I took AP World History. I got a 3 on the AP exam. I didn’t retain much, but I did retain this: in China, major dynasties lasted between 200-400 years. This year marks 250 for the United States. I know we’re not quite yet at true proletariat uprising levels, but you gotta wonder if we’re genuinely on the decline as a superpower.

I’m college-educated, productive member of society. But I can’t afford to buy a home or start a family. So honestly, why do I even go into work every day? To make other people richer? This is clearly untenable. I just hope we can prioritize creating a dignified life for people who make the world go round.

2. GLP-1s and the Diet Soda Revolution

GLP-1s? I guess I’m pro. I’ve never taken one, and I never will, but if it helps people live a healthier life, I’m all for it. Is it cheating? Probably. But ultimately, who cares.

I also came across an interesting article online about how the price of Diet Coke has risen at bars in New York City. As a diet soda fiend, this is upsetting to me. In the past when I’d order a Diet Coke, the bartender would just give it to me for free. I think they assumed that I was recently sober and had some demons I was working through, and they were being kind to save me the $3.

Those days are long gone.

Now a Diet Coke at a bar is like $4-$5, and you best believe you’re not getting a free refill. And I get it. Bars have to think about their bottom line. If folks aren’t buying $18 cocktails, they gotta make money somehow.

At the same time that I see all this stuff in my timeline about GLP-1s and alcohol abstinence (good things), I see an equal amount of stuff about a new epidemic; colorectal cancer (bad thing).

What’s going on here? Every day I see all over my Twitter timeline that it is a foregone conclusion that me and everyone I love will one day be diagnosed with colorectal cancer. First off, is this even true? Second off, why? It’s gotta be the processed foods, right? We dun goofed with that stuff, didn’t we? It just tastes soooooo gooood.

I try my best now to eat a healthy diet of whole foods. Plenty of processed stuff slips through the cracks though. Cheez-Its. Kit Kats. Coke Zero.

I can’t help but wonder if the GLP-1s/Diet Soda Revolution/colorectal cancer outbreak are related. I’m not saying that GLP-1s cause colorectal cancer, I just feel like karmically, the universe has decided that there is going to be a price for trying to cheat God.

1. Good Food Is SO Attainable And Might Save Us

There were a lot of bummers in this piece, so let’s end on a positive note.

For the majority of my life, I was a picky eater. When I left for college, I didn’t eat anything but burgers and chicken fingers. But as I got older, I was put in situations where pain of embarrassment from not eating the served food outweighed the fear I had of trying something new. Thus, my palate expanded.

And let me say, what a treat it was to no longer be a picky eater. It turned out most food was quite good.

In the past six months, I have gone to two of the most competitive restaurants in New York City; Four Charles and Torrisi. Both were excellent. Worth the hype? No way. Torrisi was no better than Al Di La in Park Slope. Four Charles isn’t a ton better than Bernie’s in Greenpoint. I don’t say this to crap on the restaurants, they were very good. Instead, I am trying to highlight that the baseline for an average meal in New York City is really high.

Also, all cuisines are everywhere now, which is cool. When I was a kid, the options for takeout were pizza or Chinese. Now my parents’ suburban town in New Jersey has Thai, Ethiopian, Indian, Colombian - everything under the sun. I am just charmed anytime I see an otherwise closed-minded person try an exotic cuisine. Every time a Republican has a Massaman curry, we get one step closer to World Peace.

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Thanks for reading! I’ll be back soon with a mailbag piece (please submit questions here), and a monthly round-up after that. Impressions on all of my social medias have been down, but not Substack. I appreciate you all dearly.

Love,

JVH